Short Stories

1.) Spring has sprung? The temperature is rising ever so gradually. The days are lengthening minute by minute. Birds are chirping, and daffodils are blooming. Are these signs of an early spring? I am hoping so, but I am not getting my hopes up too soon. After all, I saw daffodils pelleted with snow in Ithaca many a time. Not that I am expecting snow here, but frosts are still possible. It would be nice to experience at least a taste of spring before returning home to autumn and yet another winter.

2.) The Birds. I have had a few scary incidences with seagulls lately. I have never been a fan of these birds, but I especially don’t like them when they dive down at me squaking! Seriously! It was really alarming! This has happened on three separate occasions, in three different places, but all while I was running. Perhaps I was running near some sort of territorial spot? Perhaps, but then why weren’t their kamikaze patterns directed at other pedestrians in the area? In all three cases, I literally had to take shelter to protect myself from their Hitchcock-like wrath.

3.) Practical jokes. My officemate, Shane, and I get along very well. He can be incredibly sarcastic, but he has learned that I, too, can dish out the jokes. One of the things sitting on Shane’s desk is a sort of hand-sized rubber ball, and he finds pleasure in throwing it at me from time to time, when I’m deep at work and not expecting it. Well, I got back at him recently but might have started a war of retaliation.

First, I must preface the story with this seemingly random but purposeful note. Here in New Zealand, there is a yeast-based spread for toast and crackers called Marmite. In my opinion, the look of Marmite is most unappetizing – thick and dark brown – and the smell is just hideous. I did try it, just to say that I had. It didn’t make me gag, but it’s not something I care to eat ever again.

So, back to my story. When Shane came into the office yesterday, the secretary whose office is across the hall from ours, and I had booby-trapped the door handle with a smearing of Marmite. (Juanita, the good Kiwi that she is, likes Marmite and has a jar in her office to have at lunch. She knows that I don’t think much of it, so she laughed when I suggested that this was actually a good use for it.) When Shane came in and opened the door, he soon discovered what we had done, and Juanita and I broke out hysterically. (People later told us they could hear us laughing clear down the hallway.) Shane even admitted that that would be a hard practical joke to top, but I know he’ll try, so I have to stay alert.